American television leaves me with nothing to watch on TV except news and a few trashy gems born from the current reality TV culture. So I watch them – closely. What can I say? I have too much time on my hands!
- Why is Kim Kardashian’s lips forever parted? Is it a) An attempt at being 24×7 raunchy b) A sign of escaping intelligence if any c) An adverse reaction to too much Botulinum Toxin
- Why does Giuliana Rancic stand as if her head is about to be ripped apart from her body a la mode Zombie Land v.67?
- Why is Ryan Seacrest shrinking?
- Why does whoever that person is in that Bitch Stole My Look segment believe that he needs to live up to the name of the segment?
- Why is Joan Rivers so funny? (Really, she does not look the part!)
- Why is Snookie so orange? Why doesn’t anyone tell her that she looks like a Halloween gift wrap?!
- Also, who the F gave Snookie a book deal?!! For what joy?!
- Why is Kloe Kardashian pulling down all her sisters from their chairs and slapping their butts? (Seriously, that’s not what sisters do or how sisters fight!)
- Who in the world made the show Bridalplasty?? (It’s like watching yourself ram into a truck with morbid fascination.)
- Why do they have such an ugly bachelor in the current ‘Bachelor’ show?
- Why does E! keep showing trailers of Holly Madison’s bray-like laugh? (Guys, you are not helping her show I am telling ya!)
- How come E! likes the movie Knocked Up so much? Is it in-house? (I think Knocked Up at some point played three times in a day, daily!)
- Yes, E! plays Sex and the City now. Thanks. But why play it if you cut out all the sex? (It’s like watching an amputated ugly puppy limping across the street, in a city of course.)
- What’s this obsession with Glee and the Bieber boy?
- Is Mila Kunis and Selena Gomez the same person? (They look so interchangeable.)
- Why is the whole world happy that Ryan Reynolds and Scarlett split up? (It’s not like any of us are going to date either of them. EVER!)
- Why is Gerard Butler (aka ‘the hottie’) acting in such horrible rom-coms? Dude, you were the 300!!
- Don’t you think Natalie Portman looks like she’s about to cry at any given point in time? (Colin Firth can join her too.)
- Is John Stewart really a centrist? Or am I mistaken?
- Why does everything have to be “3D”?!
- Does Oprah realize that she is so photoshop-ed on O covers that she looks like her-reflection-in-a-convex-mirror on TV?
- Kathie Lee (I hope that’s her name) never lets Hoda speak. Why?
- Why does Giada Lau-something (on Food Network) have so much teeth? And why is Bobby Flay’s eyebrows so golden? (They unnerve me.)
- Who are these people who brave the cold to stand outside morning shows studio windows to wave? Have you got nothing better to do?
- When will I stop being so jobless?
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Nice compilation ….